So tired, so so tired.

Tired.  Really tired.  Sit down and fall asleep tired.  That's me right now.  Not just literally, but emotionally.  I feel drained.  I feel like someone has left the water running for a long time and the well is about empty.  (Insert sleepy sigh.)

I know all of the scriptures to quote about rising up like eagles, joy of the Lord is my strength, don't grow weary in doing good, and on and on.  I know it.  I just don't feel it.  Should I even be saying this out loud?  Is this too honest?

I can't be alone in this feeling.  Come on, let's get real.  We are living in a fast paced, got to get it done, keep it moving world.  It's no wonder that I feel less than energetic.  That's saying it nicely.  To be blunt---I feel like falling over.

I don't say this to complain.  Not at all. I just want to get transparent.  I know so many around me are going through so much more than I am, and I pray for those dear loved ones (and count my blessings). 

I love my family--boy do I love them.  I am blessed with an amazing husband and adorable son.  I love them with all my heart.  But, goodness sake, sometimes they wear me out.  I love my career.  I really do--and I know I am blessed to be able to say that in a world of those looking for a job and feeling hopeless in their daily work.  I enjoy what I do, and can't see myself doing something else (well, I can but it would be a promotion).  I even love the ministry opportunities I have at my church.  I am trusted to lead others.  I don't take this lightly and really do feel honored to see God use me. 

But...well, some days are just easier than others and I am stinkin' tired.

Some days I would love to get in my car, drive away and sit alone on a beach, park, or let's face it even the Target parking lot.  Yes, I've been known to pull my car out of my work parking lot, only to drive 2 minutes to a parking lot across the street to have a moment alone. 

What I am finding lately is that I can't shake is this feeling of "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  Do you know what I mean?  That feeling where you feel like you could just scream?  And just might if it didn't make you seem absolutely insane?  Yes, that feeling.  You all know it.  And if you don't, you will.  And if you don't know it now, you've known it. 

I've come to the conclusion that I need a revival.  I need a revival in my soul, deep down.  Deep.  Deep.  Deep. I don't want the revival that ends when I stand up from the altar.  I want the revival that causes shockwaves and generations to find Jesus.  But first, I want it for me.  I want to be refreshed, changed, motivated and moved.  Maybe if I can get very real with myself, because Jesus already knows, then I can begin chopping and chipping away the lethargy and paralysis of my soul.

If you will join me in this revival cry I'd love to know it so we can encourage each other.  But, moreover God wants to know it.  He already knows the weariness of our hearts.  He has come to give us rest.  So, I am going to let out the scream that has been burning deep inside my belly.  Here goes....but not of desperation, but an exhale so I can inhale the breath of God in my life. 

What about you my friend?  Are you tired of being tired? 

Let's go to Jesus together.