So tired, so so tired.

Tired.  Really tired.  Sit down and fall asleep tired.  That's me right now.  Not just literally, but emotionally.  I feel drained.  I feel like someone has left the water running for a long time and the well is about empty.  (Insert sleepy sigh.)

I know all of the scriptures to quote about rising up like eagles, joy of the Lord is my strength, don't grow weary in doing good, and on and on.  I know it.  I just don't feel it.  Should I even be saying this out loud?  Is this too honest?

I can't be alone in this feeling.  Come on, let's get real.  We are living in a fast paced, got to get it done, keep it moving world.  It's no wonder that I feel less than energetic.  That's saying it nicely.  To be blunt---I feel like falling over.

I don't say this to complain.  Not at all. I just want to get transparent.  I know so many around me are going through so much more than I am, and I pray for those dear loved ones (and count my blessings). 

I love my family--boy do I love them.  I am blessed with an amazing husband and adorable son.  I love them with all my heart.  But, goodness sake, sometimes they wear me out.  I love my career.  I really do--and I know I am blessed to be able to say that in a world of those looking for a job and feeling hopeless in their daily work.  I enjoy what I do, and can't see myself doing something else (well, I can but it would be a promotion).  I even love the ministry opportunities I have at my church.  I am trusted to lead others.  I don't take this lightly and really do feel honored to see God use me. 

But...well, some days are just easier than others and I am stinkin' tired.

Some days I would love to get in my car, drive away and sit alone on a beach, park, or let's face it even the Target parking lot.  Yes, I've been known to pull my car out of my work parking lot, only to drive 2 minutes to a parking lot across the street to have a moment alone. 

What I am finding lately is that I can't shake is this feeling of "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"  Do you know what I mean?  That feeling where you feel like you could just scream?  And just might if it didn't make you seem absolutely insane?  Yes, that feeling.  You all know it.  And if you don't, you will.  And if you don't know it now, you've known it. 

I've come to the conclusion that I need a revival.  I need a revival in my soul, deep down.  Deep.  Deep.  Deep. I don't want the revival that ends when I stand up from the altar.  I want the revival that causes shockwaves and generations to find Jesus.  But first, I want it for me.  I want to be refreshed, changed, motivated and moved.  Maybe if I can get very real with myself, because Jesus already knows, then I can begin chopping and chipping away the lethargy and paralysis of my soul.

If you will join me in this revival cry I'd love to know it so we can encourage each other.  But, moreover God wants to know it.  He already knows the weariness of our hearts.  He has come to give us rest.  So, I am going to let out the scream that has been burning deep inside my belly.  Here goes....but not of desperation, but an exhale so I can inhale the breath of God in my life. 

What about you my friend?  Are you tired of being tired? 

Let's go to Jesus together.   

Cape on.

Contentment is the enemy.

Enemy is a strong word, and I know it.  It's a word that reminds us of wars and hatred.  Enemy reminds us of evil and bad guys.  I mean to use the word enemy because that's just how strongly I feel about contentment in my life.

Throughout life we are taught to be thankful for what we have and enjoy what we've been given. This still is 100% true.  I agree that one of the keys to a successful life is to find peace in where we are, who we are with, and where we have been.  But, I don't believe that holds true when we look to where we might be headed or who might be headed there with us, or even worse, without us.

Here's an example.  Should I be content with being a Mom that only pays attention half the time to my son?  NO!  And if I said yes to that I know some people who know some people if you know what I mean.

Now that I have your attention, let's take it a step further. 

Is it okay to be content with where we are in our walk with Jesus?  Should I be content with only sitting in the seats of my church keeping them full rather than needing to stand to allow someone new to sit down?  Should I be content in just getting by?  Should I be content in only giving "enough" to get it done? 

I am done. 
I am done being content. 
I am done. 
I am done being a good church girl who doesn't cause waves. 
I am done. 
I am done being one in a crowd instead of the one who stands out from the crowd.

So yes friends, contentment is my enemy.  Contentment keeps me complacent, lazy, apathetic, self-centered, wishful, quiet, weak, and unfocused.

I so desire a Godly passion to burn within me that I am no longer afraid to push the envelope, stay muted, or be satisfied with just getting by.  Are you with me?  I mean really with me?  Not just, a "like" on Facebook or a quick :) in a text, but a "YES!  I am with you!"

Hebrews 10: 22-25 says it well.  "So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching."

How do we do it?

We live for Jesus.  Plain and simple.  It should drive every decision we make, every motive centered on His plan for the world.  Then, we do this together.  We get creative.  We encourage.  We help out.  We come together, but not to warm a seat, but to remind each other of the promises and then GO!  The BIG DAY is approaching.  Reaching beyond ourselves has to be our mode of operations.  It has to be the way we live and drive all we do, not only independently but as church bodies all across our great nation.

I don't know about you, but contentment is my enemy.  It's my arch-nemesis if you will. 

My son, who loves superheroes, has quite a few games, comics, you name it with superheroes in or on them.  Well, I may not know all of the heroes, but I will tell you that most often there is an arch-nemesis.  The villain is fighting all the time against the hero.  So much so that so that is what makes this whole world of comics come alive.

If we are children of the Most High King and do have a real enemy, let's own up to it, know it, and fight.  Be ready, because until the Big Day comes and Jesus reveals heaven to us we will be in the fight of our lives, and more importantly for the lives of those who don't yet know the love, forgiveness and peace of our Jesus.

Staying content is no longer an option for me.  Too many lives are waiting for me to put my cape on and reach out beyond myself.  Who's with me?