Dirtbag

Labels.  We all read them, use them, depend on them and try to be them. 

Most every day I drive by a small gas efficient car parked on the side of the road with a label on the way home from work.  It's not "Honk if you love Jesus" or "My other car is a bus".  The label is big, bold and across the entire back window.  I can imagine if I gave you 100 guesses you wouldn't get it unless you've seen it.

Dirtbag.  Yes, that's it.  Dirtbag.  Lovely, right?  Each time I think to myself who would put this label on their car.  Who would want others to see their car and read dirtbag?  Not me.  I can't think of anyone who would. 

Well, God uses even small cars with odd labels to get my attention.  Even if I had to drive by it 100 times for it to sink in.  He knows I am not His brightest child.  Thank goodness He's so patient.

How many times do I put a label directly across my forehead that only I can see---but think others see?  Labels that say things like 'quitter' or 'fatty'.  Or maybe put labels on the inside, on my heart, that no one else can see--but impact the way I live my life.  Labels that become part of me without me even knowing.  Labels like 'people pleaser' or worse yet 'gossiper'.

Maybe I am alone in this, but I don't think so.  I hope not, it's too lonely.  I believe we all put labels on ourselves like this car down the street.  Maybe the labels are what we want people to see.  Words like 'all put together', 'happy' or 'fulfilled'. 

What would happen if we took off all the labels?  The ones we are putting on for all to see or the labels we have that we see every time we look in the mirror, or feel deep in our hearts.  What if we could take off the labels that create painful meaning into our hearts.

When I was a teenager the labels everyone wore were GAP, Guess and Esprit.  These labels were the epitome of 8th grade.  I didn't have very many items with these labels but what I had was treasured.  I learned that I wore the certain labeled clothing for specific events and even had a bag that said GAP.  Those labeled items were special to me, and made me feel different when I had them on or near me.

God puts labels on us.  So many labels.  Loved, redeemed, precious, important, and wanted are just a few of the labels He bestows on us.  He wants these labels to be seen on us, treasured by us and lived through us.  When I think about the labels I have placed on myself they are the opposite of what God thinks of me.  Why is that?  Why do I believe the labels that make me feel inadequate and small, but not the ones that build my character, purpose and even future?

Dirtbag.  It's a yucky, horrible and disgusting word picture.  But on the other hand, it's incredibly raw, real and introspective.  God already sees the dirtbag in each of us.  He loves us.  He wants the you and me that comes to Him with the reckless abandon to find our true destiny.

So, let's rip off the labels that we have worn around, maybe since as long ago as the 1990s.  Maybe longer. 

One.  Two.  Three.  RIP!  Rip those labels off with me.  RIP!  Rest in peace.  Yeah, that sounds good to me.  I will choose to rest in peace because of the worth I know Jesus sees in me even when I don't see it.  Even when others don't see it.  Even when I give reasons why no one should see it.  I refuse to be adorned by labels of self loathing, inadequacy, and judgment.

Are you ready to rest in peace?  His peace that passes all understanding.  Who knows what label God will put on you next as you rest in His love--maybe it will be missionary, or speaker of truth, or could be it be woman of faith?

I'm excited to see the new labels.  I'm sick of the old, tired and worn out labels.  These labels are ones I have been holding on to that much like my 1990s GAP bag that had holes it, looked worn out and needed to be let go a long time ago. 

I will read the labels God has for me.  He's outlined that in His word.  He's so faithful to leave us this resource that often times is left to gather dust or stay hidden away in our smart phones.
I will use the labels God puts on me for His kingdom.  Whatever the label is, I will use it for Jesus. 
I will do my best to be label that is dependable.  I plan to wear the label of Christian proudly. 
And most of all I will try to be the label, disciple. 

Thank you God for reaching out to me, even with a label like dirtbag that was once on my heart. 

Move your Tassle from the Right to the Left!

Graduation season is here.  We are in the thick of it.  Caps, gowns, tassles, tears, silly string, boucing beach balls, high heels, sunglasses, and uncomfortable bleachers. 

It's hard for me to consider that my high school graduation was in 1998.  I was 18, hopeful, determined and "ready" for the world ahead of me.  I drove a 1976 Ford Maverick that was the exact same color as a Barbie. I am not exagerating.  I loved that car because my Great Grandma gave it to me.  In fact, wish I still had it today.  I thought I was overweight.  I wasn't, I was healthy.  I wasn't the size 4 cheerleader, but I was beautiful.  If only I had realized that then, the world of hurt it could have saved me from.  I had my life perfectly planned.  (That I really thought was true!)

Well, the Maverick ended up being sold, the weight issues were untrue but tainted my world view, and my life was not perfectly planned.  But, my life would turn out perfectly!

Graduation was a time of excitement, new beginnings, and freedom.  I went on to Eugene Bible College in the fall of 1998 where I planned to stay for 4 years.  I stayed there for just a year.  I was "dumped" by long time boyfiend in the spring of 1999.  I wish him the best, but God sure took care of me and gave me a loving, adorable, fun and exciting husband.  Then, on top of that he blessed me with a son!  I lived in the dorms on campus that didn't feel exactly 'free' but learned some valuable life lessons. 

The cap and gown are now in a costume box.  The high heels were sold at a garage sale a long time ago.  The sunglasses I "had" to wear as I walked on to the North Eugene High School baseball field were lost.  But, that feeling of hope and determination never was put away, sold or lost.  Did it waiver from time to time?  YES!  But I am thankful it has never left. 

Graduation season is here and while I listened last night to shining, beautiful young ladies with long flowing hair blowing in the wind on a sunny Oregon night I thought back to my own graduation and purposed within myself to renew the excitement in my life.  Does that mean I will jump from an airplane tomorrow?  No (but it would be fun!).  Will I quit my job and fly to a foreign land?  No (but can you imagine if you could?!?)  I will restore the joy of my life. 

I am reminded of the scripture in Psalms 51:12.  "Restore to me the joy of your salvation."(NLT)

Maybe you are like me and get overwhelmed by the business of life.  Life is messy.  We can't renew the joy of our salvation on our own.  The silly string, bouncing beach balls and sunglasses seem to be long gone and you are left with just the uncomfotable bleachers.  My friend, be encouraged.  We all can have a graduation in our hearts today. 

Stand up.  Put on your sprirtual cap and gown.  Find your high heels and sunglasses.  Put them on!  Our futures are bright.  Just because we are not the fresh faced 18 year olds graduating from high school does not mean we have to miss out on the excitement, freedom, hope and determination of life. 

Stand with me, move your tassle from the right side of your cap, to the left.  Look at the future with bright hopefilled eyes and be ready to take on the world.  Not because we have life perfectly planned or becasue we know it all, but because we know the One who does.  And not because we can do this on our own, but because we are fully reliant on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith. 

We are all individuals with our own set of circumstances, dreams and desires.  But today, we are in our perfectly pressed gowns and are united in Christ's redemption.

So today let's hold our heads high, walk with purpose, live in Christ's freedom and know that if we just ask He will renew the joy of our salvation.  The salvation that brings peace, guidance, and contentment.

Graduation day is here in our hearts!  Throw that cap high in the air and look forward to the future God has for you!